shadowwonder

My last post describes my tendency to get swept into the swirl of anxious thoughts that often spew, uninvited, through my mind. This thought-pattern God is uncovering is one I didn’t even realize as a part of my life.   And I am recognizing—even this very moment as I type—that the hands doing this uncovering are those of a loving, gentle, powerful Father providing firm guidance.   Guidance my life needs.   Guidance my heart craves. He is continuing to speak truth about my tendency towards anxious thoughts . . . .   And I wonder whether I’m the only one who might benefit from hearing what He seems to be saying. For most of my life, I’ve believed that this experience: the unexpected and overwhelming flood of worried thoughts, the chokehold of worry, the careful, fear-motivated efforts to avoid each “worst case scenario,” the compulsion to make absolutely sure that I am not the failure that these thoughts suggest . . . . For most of my life, I’ve mis-labeled this experienc

I’m sure you’re familiar with this prayer that ends David’s beautiful Psalm 139. “Search me oh God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” For most of my life, I’ve understood this passage as a plea for God to convict me of displeasing actions and attitudes in my life.   Sort of a request for Him to open my soul’s door, turn on His flashlight, and spotlight the sins that I may be able to see myself.   It’s been a prayer that often led to confessing unholiness I wasn’t previously aware of.   And, since I know there’s plenty of sin tucked away in my soul, it’s long been a prayer I’ve been a little hesitant to actually pray. Lately, though, these verses have taken on a different, more hopeful, meaning. In her wonderful book, Abundant Simplicity , Jan Johnson (whose writing, by the way, has been a source of guidance and encouragement to me for many years), parap